Tuesday 25 April 2017

Top Ten Tuesday: My picks for 'Things That Will Make Me Instantly NOT Want To Read A Book'.

Oh my goodness! It has been so long since I've been part of the Top Ten Tuesday crew, but as of late I've really found it hard to read and blog, and I've hit a bit of a slump. I decided to take a bit of a break from memes in order to stop it all from becoming a chore. But this topic is great, and I've thought of so many answers I had to share!

1) Sloppy covers.

I'm sorry. I know the age old adage: 'Don't judge a book by it's cover'. But, oftentimes, you can and I most certainly do. I like my covers pretty. I like them to look nice on my shelf (both physical and Goodreads) so even if a book synopsis sounds great, if there's no effort on the cover I'll probably avoid it. Of course I've read some books with covers that I hate, and they've turned out to be fantastic! But most of the time I've found that the content is as terrible as the art.

2) Too sexual.

I'm sorry to say, I avoid Erotica and New Adult genres like the plague because I hate reading books that are literally all about sex and nothing else. Most of the time, sex scenes are horribly written with nasty phrases used to describe the action and I can't deal with it. Plus, half the time I feel like authors don't understand the kinky relationships they're trying to portray. It's why I'll never read the 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' among others, that's for sure.

3) Too romantic.

You may think I'm severely limiting my choices here, not allowing myself to read books that are too lusty or too fluffy. But if the blurb starts with something along the lines with 'Mary Sue was a lonely, unfeeling, hot mess until she met a young hot millionaire to solve all her problems' then I'm not going to go further. That's not to say I don't enjoy a good romantic sub-plot or shipping many of my favourite couples, but I want to read a story I don't recognise. Romance novels are pretty much all the same in my eyes.

4) Love triangles.

Oh. My. God. Triangles, squares, hexagons, I don't understand why authors think this is such a fantastic plot device. Especially in YA! When I ship couples I like those couples to be there for each other and not letting their eyes wander to other characters. In some stories I've read, this is actually a very cleverly used plot device implemented in an original way. 95% of the time however it halts the story and we have to go through pages of our heroine (it usually is a woman of course) unable to bring herself to choose which guy she wants. Ugh.

5) Books that have been badly reviewed.

This is another one I'm a bit ashamed about because I try not to put too much stock in other people's reviews. I tend only to veer away from books that have been blasted by bloggers I trust. However, when I'm excited about a book then read very mixed reviews on it that head towards the bad side of the Goodreads rating system, I end up second guessing myself. Three of the top reviewers said that the heroine is boring as heck? Maybe I don't want to read this book...

6) This book is <popular book title> meets <popular TV show> meets <popular film title> with added <checkbox for diversity list>.

This is just lazy marketing. Plain and simple. I don't want a crossover of these three totally unrelated things and added LGBT or ethnic diversity if you're only talking about it to check a box off of your list. 'Harry Potter' meets 'Game Of Thrones' meets 'Avengers Assemble' with added lesbians sounds like a HOT MESS and not one I want to partake in. When writing blurbs, maybe try to point out it's uniqueness rather than the fact that it's a combination of other people's ideas.

7) Rehashes of successful books.

Similarly to the last point, I do not want to read the next 'Divergent'. Did I enjoy 'Twilight'? Not particularly so you're actually turning me off of your book by saying it's the same book. Any book that is described with 'If you enjoyed this, then you must read this book' is not a winner in my eyes, purely because it displays a lack of originality in the publishing industry and does not show the author in a good light.

8) Books that famously don't end well/cover difficult topics.

I don't actively try to avoid these books in the sense that I need to look up a full synopsis before reading. However, books such as 'The Notebook' where I know they are going to end sadly and turn me into a hysterical mess are books I'm not that interested in I'm afraid. I always feel a little apprehensive about books that talk about abuse and rape too, among other difficult topics. If I know they'e going to be about that, it can take me a long time to get to them.

9) Anything containing an overly special snowflake.

Books about a hero or heroine who are the first in thousands of years to develop special powers, skills or are one of a kind in anyway don't grab me in the way they used to. They're everywhere of course and so often I can't avoid them. Some of my favourite books still hold this trope too, but oftentimes I read books with these characters and I feel like I've read it all before. 

10) Books about grumpy detectives solving murders while trying to put the pieces of their own wrecked lives back together.

This is probably the most specific of all of my book turn-offs, but this basically describes every crime thriller everywhere. Detectives that have cigars drooping out of their mouths and a hip flask, who haven't seen their son/daughter for years, divorced because they are complete workaholics and feel that solving this latest 'special' case will fill the hole. And if they're a female detective? there's always the added bonus of trying to be taken seriously in their profession. Can someone please do something a bit more original?

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