Christmas is coming! It really hit me big-time this month because I love this time of year so much. Every year, Mat and I have dinner with friends and it's become something of a tradition for us! That was the main thing we did this week and it was wonderful to get fully into the Christmas spirit! Soon my time away from work begins too, which is extra exciting!
On the same day I also volunteered for Active Newham, which was so much fun! It's a big part of my new role, and as Newham is my local community, it felt like a great place to start. The Festive Fun Run that they held was a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to doing more of this in the future!
I Read...
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I Received...
- 'The Grass People' by Kay Parley: NetGalley (03/12/18)
- 'Evermore' by Sara Holland: NetGalley (05/12/18)
Memes...
Top Ten Tuesday: Perfect Winter Reads
Gosh. What a week. I mean most of it was spent at work with not a lot of happening until the end, when everything happened and knocked me for six a little bit.
Because for the first time in a while, on Sunday 29th July, I volunteered! And it was for YALC/LFCC which is something I'm super passionate about. So I was understandably very excited but also super anxious because I hate going into things not knowing what to expect. I could have volunteered to be a part of the full-day Crew but wanted to be a Helper as I could only do one day and wanted some time to actually explore the convention too. It meant I wasn't paid and I gave up my free time to help them out for next to no reward other than entry into the show itself afterwards.
I did not appreciate being immediately shouted at for being late because the bike race going on prevented anyone from being able to cross a road for ten minutes by a member of an external security company who knew nothing about the volunteers anyway. I did not expect to be told that I was 'too late', not trusted that I actually was a volunteer and made to feel that my hour journey there had been for nothing. I did not enjoy the chaos, the feeling that no one knew what they were doing, the eye-rolling because I was 'only a helper' and not doing a full day.
It fed my anxiety and it made me angry.
Now the rest of the day, after talking myself out of turning round and going home, was okay. I met some nice people, most of all those attending YALC whose tickets I scanned and I saw some cool costumes, stalls and sights before going home after my shift finished. But was it worth it?
On the one hand - no. I am still reeling from the first part of it, and felt that I gained no real valuable insight or skills from the rest of my shift. I didn't even get to enjoy a huge amount of the show because I was exhausted afterwards. Though I was asked to, I won't be doing it again. But I'm still classing it as a victory, because despite dealing with very severe feelings of anxiety, procrastination, and feeling drained emotionally, I still did it.
And that still puts a smile on my face.
